Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Internet, an amazing place.

In my last post I mentioned my history of this realm of data and text. But I never mentioned why I love it. It has kept me here due to the nature of it.

In real life people judge you on more than what you say and what your about. There is profiling based on just view. That image of body size, body fat percentages, hair color, eye color, skin color, the minor details of a person. The outer shell of us all. We all have a different shape, color, whatever. There are people spewing words of diversity and acceptance. I haven't heard such gibberish in a while. Its like the new thing. Accept diversity! Okay, I can see parts of this as a good moral. But think of it for a second. We are different. We all have our own opinions. We all have a different back ground growing up, a different set of morals, a different belief system, different tastes, different everything. Simple as that. Now with all these differences how can we all get along in a politically correct fashion? My own belief on this matter is, we can't. I believe arguments on beliefs are healthy for anyone. As long as it keeps to reason and does not end in violence. People may read that thinking I am crazy to assume violence would arise. We like to think more of our selves and our communities. But I would not say this with out a reason. In the past there have been great tragedies on the basis of disagreements. Lives have been ruined and destroyed. Look at world war 2, drastic example with the holocaust. Lets tone it down a bit to more common examples. Violence in school systems, violence in our streets, pointless gangs killing/harming each other over who is more "gangster" and who suffers the most based on poverty. Yet how many of these people are actually in that bad of a situation? If they got their heads out of their asses maybe they could improve their lives and those around them rather than dragging a whole city to rubbish, like L.A. There is plenty of examples of violence becoming a reality over simple things, things that never should be a problem in a perfect world. But it isn't a perfect world.

So the Internet... How is this different? People can express how they feel with out the visual judgment harming their words based on the listeners thoughts. I feel there are several points to judge someone on the internet with. 1. What they say and how they say it. 2. How they promote their self. 3. General attitude and methods. 4. What they stand for. 5. Where they come from.

I say where they come from for a reason. Reading this page how many would think I am over weight? How many think I am skinny? How many think I am average weight? What am I for an ethnicity: Black, White, Spanish, whatever? Answer that question first. then carry on reading. Now that its answered answer it again based on the knowledge that I live in America, the USA. I am from the New England area, in a suburb. Did your opinion change at all? No one would vocalize their admittance for it. However, I can bet a ton of people started to think I was fatter than previously and also white or black. Never would one imagine I am a Spanish person. I could be but how would you know? It turns out I'm not, I am white and I do have a bit of a gut but I am working on getting rid of that.

The internet is great for that whole free speech thing. Because here politics and political correctness are a load of shit. I am racist as much as anyone else is. I have groups of people I dislike on average. But that is because of the majority of them I come across. Sure, there are really cool people from the Philippines and I take that into consideration. But these are the groups of folk that make the most commotion and then try to promote their national pride or what ever bullshit pride they made up to make me do what? Accept them? Not going to happen. I'll accept you on a personal basis. When I meet people from Brazil, the BR flag goes off. Prepare for: huahuahua algemo . then more huahua. Whatever that means I dont know but your not getting anything from me. I'll also treat you like an idiot. Its a shame that so many have shown that to me. But there are cool brazilians out there. I know a few who I would of never thought twice about. Accepted them as good to be around folk and move on. I know a few. One of them even makes fun of the huahuahua algemo BR folk as well, and hes from Brazil.

The internet has spanwed so many cultures, sub cultures, underground networks, and more. Some examples: Furrys, the Chans, otherkin, and more. They never would of became a group if not for the internet. People are more connected now than ever before. The ideas can spread faster now than before. People realise they aren't alone with their interests. However maybe their idea is not a common ideal or intrest and they are afraid their local community would be negative. So with out the internet they never would get to express that idea or thought, or know they are not alone.

The internet is all about the spreading of ideas, thoughts, philosophy, data, free speech. Its a great medium for communication. Its a great medium for data spreading, and how people use that is up to them. I love it. Its great. People say this is not reality, true! Its not. Its worse than reality and most times its also A LOT better than your reality. That is all I have to say...

My closing note: lololol!! internet <3 <3 :D ^.^

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Who am I? I am Rafoie! But who... is Rafoie?

A very complicated question with many answers. I am sure we have all tried to explain our selves to someone else or even to our self in our own time of self-reflections. So I will try to explain my self to, you, my readers. I will explain who I am as best I can...

In the simplest parts of my existence I am a Human. An animal, as a human we are animals at the core. We have needs for survival and wants, we acquire our needs and wants in our own means and methods. I am gay. We all have our own styles, this is my approach. Many ask me "Why are you gay?" I wish to state, that's not so easy to say. It appeals to me... Can you tell me why you are straight or bi or even pan? I'm sure you could in time, or give some silly answer. But in your core you too are not so sure, right? How can we ever be sure when confronted with a question we do not dwell on? We can't. So what is my take on religion? Am I part of any religious affiliation? No. I am not. But I am not an atheist. I am in the technical sense I do not believe in a god. But I believe in a web of nature. We are all tied together. I can not pick a flower on earth with out effecting a star in the sky. Nature is a balance of powers, a give and a take. I am a pagan if you wish to label me with some religious term.

So who is "Rafoie"? Rafoie is me. I am Rafoie. It is an online alias, my pen name if you will. Where did my journey begin? Way back when, back when I was unaware of this vast space. I knew of it, but I was not fully aware of what this realm of data held. I started entering the Online gaming scene heavily with Ragnarok Online. I previously dinked around on IRC, forums, websites, submission sites, MSN chat rooms and MSN groups. I was around 10-12 when I got into all of this. I remember I frequented an irc channel known as #PSOW. I recently hunted it down, about a few months ago to see if it was still around. I was feeling very reminesent that day. It was on irc.efnet servers. I found out it is gone. The channel is debunked, empty, and not even in the servers data. I joined and was awarded an Op for creating it. So now I know they are gone. I give much of my alias creation to these early stages. I learned the multiple architypes of the net. I learned when to be serious, when to laugh, when to poke fun. My times with psow were good. The people in there were fun but serious. One could call them elitist if they did not adhere to their set of rules or some of their standards. Like text chat was looked down upon, back then AOL chat room talk... Why type u when you could type you and make more sense and look better? They didn't use lol but they did use heh. They said heh and were rebelious to the "rise of lol". I remember these days far too well in the back of my mind. I watch my past as if one would watch an old movie, flickering dimly. My times in PSOW were good, I learned a lot of the ways of the internet in there and around other chat channels. I learned the basics of IRC back then, a skill not many bother to learn today. I've worked on it over the days. I still frequent certain servers and channels.

My history of gaming is far too wide. So many games, so many betas, so many people... There are a few people in my past who stick out but have faded due to time. I sign into my old MSN account... Many old names appear to me. Denadune, Skaal, Miiru, Sifu, Theik, Muuwi/Turtle89, skogsmulle, Maison, LordWolf. ... Isildur, MrMan, Idandt... and that list goes on for a ways. People come and people go. Why they vanished, I have no idea. I know the story of a few... Skaal. Sifu, Miiru. A few I have no idea where they went: isildur, Mrman, theik, Lordwolf. I can not say... They vanished one day, never to hear from them again. Then there is the current list of people I talk to, which I feel is slowly disappearing too... But I owe a part of my self to everyone I meet. Their ideals mix with my own. My personalities can't be taken from a single one, but a merge of many. Expirimenting with their ideas, toying with my own, viewing their worlds to my own. Helping them and being helped back... or being backstabbed back. Which ever it is, how ever it is... I am this way now due to my history not my future.

If I was to bullet point events in my Online Life... I guess I could.
-The Rise of IRC, -Ragnarok and my Entering of the MMORPG world, -The Age of MSN Groups, -The Golden Age of a Beta Hopper, -Ragezone, -yahoo, -Xfire, -gmail, -The One-Sided Love Fiasco, -The Shattered Raf (current stage.)
The games I dwelled on the longest are some of my fonder internet memories...Ragnarok, Mu, Knight Online, FungWan Online, Risk Your Life, Rising Force, Lineage 2, Tabula Rasa, Conquer Online, Priston Tale, Diablo 2, Guild Wars, World of Warcraft, Final Fantasy 11... and more. But those stand out in my mind.

It is a very odd feeling to look back into ones past. To see how we developed, watching our own navigation. The people, the places, the problems, the solutions, our knowledge. The titles I once wore and thrown away. The people I once considered friends... Now distant memories. The knowledge I have aquired... It is odd. My regreats and my triumphs. Times of stability and then instability. The road has been weird. Now I am 19, my developement as a person has been aided by this world and the denizens of it. The data stored away beyond the links. A click to unlock it. My eyes to take it in... and my mind to comprehend it. My actions to excercise it.

This is Rafoie, This is me. Make of it what you will... and I welcome you to my little corner of the metaverse. Welcome travelers of this land...